|
| |
The Adab of Sittings
By Muhammad Yusuf Islahi
-
Try to keep company with persons of good character.
-
Join in the conversation that is going on among those present in the company.
To exclude your self from the conversation and to sit in company with a
frowning face betrays a haughty attitude. The Holy Nabi (Sall Allahu alaihi wa Aalihi wa Sallim) used to take an active part in the conversation among his illustrious
companions (May Allah be pleased with all of them). Do not adopt a gloomy
attitude or a posture of depression while sitting in a company. Wear a
smile on your face and sit in the company in a fresh and joyous mood.
-
Try that the remembrance of Allah and the life in the Hereafter should
form part of discussion in each of your meetings. When you feel that the
interest of the participants is lagging in conversation on religious matters,
change your topic to worldly issues. Later when a suitable opportunity
arises make a discreet effort to bring the talk around to religious topics
again.
-
When you go to a meeting take a seat wherever you find room. Do not make
a bid to move ahead by pushing through or jumping over the heads or shoulders
of the people. Such conduct causes inconvenience to those who came early
and took their seats first and the man who indulges in such impolite behavior
reflects a sense of self-importance and haughtiness.
-
In a meeting, do not try to dislodge a person from his seat in order to
occupy it yourself. This is a very bad habit. Such conduct provokes hatred
and ill will in the hearts of others and betrays a sense of self-assertion
and a haughty attitude towards others.
-
In a meeting where people are sitting around in a circle, do not sit in
the center of the circle. Such behavior is not only ridiculous, but also
extremely improper. The Holy Nabi (Sall Allahu alaihi wa Aalihi wa Sallim) has cursed
such defaulters.
-
Do not try to grab the seat of a person who leaves his seat for a while.
Keep his seat reserved until he returns. However, if it is known that the
person will not return, you are free to take the seat previously occupied
by him.
-
Do not separate two persons sitting together in some gathering without
seeking their permission. They might be sitting together for a particular
reason and separation may hurt their feelings.
-
Avoid sitting at a place of distinction in a gathering. If you pay a visit
to somebody’s house, don’t try to take a seat of distinction, save in case
the host himself insists on your taking such a seat. Always sit in the
meeting in a respectful manner. Do not spread your feet or stretch your
legs. Avoid pointing your feet towards anyone, as it is a sign of disrespect.
Likewise, avoid pointing your feet towards the Qiblah.
-
Do not make a bid to always sit near the person presiding the meeting.
Sit wherever you find room, and leave space for those who arrive after
you find a please to sit conveniently. In case a greater number of people
arrive to attend the meeting, you should try to adjust yourself in a smaller
space and generously leave room for the new comers to find a seat.
-
Do not stand before or around someone.
-
No two persons should talk to each other in confidence in a gathering or
sitting. This annoys others and creates a feeling that they do not deserve
to be taken into confidence. It may also create a misunderstanding among
others that the two persons are perhaps engaged in backbiting against others
present over there.
-
Seek the permission of the chairman before you say anything in a meeting.
While you speak or take part in question and answers, do not assume such
role as if you are presiding over the meeting. It may be taken as an attempt
to impose your self upon others as well as an insult to the chairman of
the meeting.
-
Only one man should speak at a time. Each one should be heard with full
attention. Eagerness to express his self first in a meeting may create
chaos and pandemonium.
-
The matters discussed in confidence in the meeting must not be spread everywhere.
The participants are under obligation to guard the secrets of the meeting.
-
Do not broach another issue until the meeting concludes discussion about
the matter under consideration. Do not interrupt a speaker in order to
start speaking yourself. In case it is imperative for you to speak up at
once, you should do so with the permission of the speaker.
-
In the course of the proceedings, the chairman of the meeting should pay
equal attention to all members. He should address the meeting turning towards
right and left so that each side receives the benefit of attention. The
chairman should allow the participants a right to express their views.
-
If you must leave a gathering, ask permission from the chairman or the
elder if there is no chairman present.
-
Say this prayer before dispersing the meeting. The meeting should not end
without offering this prayer:
Allaahummaqsim lanaa min khashyatika maa taHoolu baynanaa
wa bayna ma’ siyatika wa min taa ‘atika maa tuballigunaa bihee jannataka.
Wa minal-yaqeeni maa ta-hoo-nu bihee ‘alaynaa madaar-rud-dunyaa. Allaahumma
matti’ naa bi-as-maa ‘inaa wa ab-saa-ri-naa wa quwwatinaa maa aHyaytanaa
waaj-‘alhul-waa-ritha minnaa. Waj ‘al tha-ara-naa ‘alaa man zalamanaa waan-sur-naa
‘alaa man ‘aadanaa wa laa taj’al museebatanaa fee deeninaa wa laa taj’alid-dunyaa
akbara hamminaa. wa laa mablaga ‘alminaa wa laa tusallit ‘alaynaa mal-laa
yarHamnaa [Tirmithi]
(Allah, grant us Thy Fear and Mercy which may stand between us and disobedience
to Thee. Vouchsafe to us that devotion which may entitle us to Thy Paradise.
Give such deep Imaan that may render all worldly losses as worthless for
us. Allah, grant us the favor of utilizing our sense of hearing, sight
and physical strength to our advantage and continue this favor even after
we are no more. Take our revenge from him who oppresses us. Grant us victory
over him who shows enmity toward us. Do not put us on trial concerning
religion. Do not make worldly goods the chief objects of our lives. Do
not make this world the limit of our knowledge and wisdom, nor entrust
us under the charge of a person who shows not mercy to us.)
Muslims of the Americas Adab Page
|
1_small.jpg)
